a little lady

A friend of mine curled my mullet yesterday post haircut 

because I want a perm 

ya know to  really complete my 80’s hair 

the minute she started curling 

I ceased up 

my hands gripped the chair 

I could barely breathe 

I could feel burns 

boiling under my skin 

on my shoulder 

that part 

where the muscle connects 

your neck to your body 

the trapezius I think 

I knew my friend wasn’t going to burn me 

I knew that 

but my brain 

was like WHOA WE’VE BEEN HERE BEFORE 

I couldn’t see 

I tried to see who 

what was burning me 

but it was like my eyes were closed 

I could only feel the burning 

I’m not sure if anybody noticed but for a few minutes I was very small 

it’s not what you’re thinking I wasn’t abused like that 

they didn’t leave marks 

I think I was just a wiggley kid 

maybe I didn’t stop moving 

everyone wanted me to be a little girl 

a little lady 

and I always had scraped knees 

and a dirty face 

pinning me down in a chair 

with resignation 

and slumpy shoulders 

and a look in my eyes that said 

I’m counting the days till I’m free 

I drew this minutes before leaving for that haircut like a bookmark for later 2nd picture is my lovingly curled mullet